my DADDY strongEST

When people say: Age is just a number, its rather a lil difficult to believe it to be true. But when i see this man, aging in number but not in life, i have no choice but to know, it's true to the hilt. My Dad turned 57 today....and he works and runs around like he is 27...

His running around for things seem endless. Not only coz he wants to achieve the things he has set his eyes / mind / heart on but also coz he is a perfectionist. He takes care of minutest things and pays attention to every detail. Its irritating at times coz it delays things or even complicates them further but when the work is done, we realize, every bit of that tension he took was necessary coz otherwise, the result wouldn't be so fine. Me and mom keep worrying for his health for he is ignorant towards it (like most men of his age are i guess) but he says nothing will happen to him and that life is just once, you cannot seem to worry about what will happen tomorrow and stop doing things you love the most (like eating fried and sweet things and sleeping late at night).

But all that apart, my daddy is a sweetheart. Right from childhood i remember the finest conversations I have had with him. The best food for soul and food for thought is from him. He has in all ways been the best person of my life and he inspires me in many ways. He is an idealist, a keen perfectionist, a die hard patriot, very head strong, genuinely philanthropic, truly generous, compassionate and warm.

He is versatility personified. He was a government servant for 22 years. He has been a national level TT player. He is a politician. A successful businessman. He is a social service enthusiastic. He is a public leader. He is a visionary. He is an organizer. He is an amazing friend who gave up his best stakes just to support his friend. He is the most encouraging husband who made my mom do things she never imagined she could do. He is a very loving son who does everything humanely possible to give a life that his mother (my daadi) would never have dreamt of. He is a stupendous father who has given me all that i wished for, dreamed for, asked for and even things i never wanted just coz he knew it would help in shaping up my identity. I have seen him give up on his dreams, his wishes, his desires and sacrifice money wise, health wise, emotion wise, time wise for even my tiniest of events.....be it my stage performance or my classes or a rehearsal or just a party. But all the more, He is an outstanding human being who is full of compassion, empathy and a dire undying desire to do good to fellow human beings and is working towards good causes for a very long time and i hope and pray God bestows his choicest blessings on him to continue doing the same for the rest of his life (just that he makes sure to take a lil care of his own health in the process of doing good to others)!!!

My daddy has struggled real hard through real bad financial crisis to give me the best. Not just something i needed but even the things i SHOULD have (according to him) to help me shine and be the best. All the fame that i have got till date is coz of him. All the honesty I have in life is coz i have seen him be honest and true to his conscious all this life. All the dreams that have come true for till today is coz he was always there as the back up plan. If i have learnt to fly high is coz i know, he is watching my back and he shall not let me fall. He has always gone out of his way to give me the happiness and joy to my heart's content. I just wish i can repay him someday in someway and make him proud and happy that all of his hardwork and sacrifices were worth.

I LOVE YOU PAPA....YOU ARE THE BEST AND YOU BRING OUT THE BEST IN ME.... <3

Hitched!!!!!

Its still only sinking in with great difficulty that i am finally there, where i never wanted to be! I look at my left hand's ring finger, see a shiny platinum love band and realize, so much in my life has changed, all but for good!!! :)

Poor thing, my Fiancé, i tell him "it feels like nothing between us has changed..."! May be that's coz i somehow feel the same way for him and for us, may be much stronger now... Coz the love was always there, the distances (physical ones) were always there and the connection we shared has always been, right there... Or may be it is because, it still has to sink in completely that i am ENGAGED !! and soon to get MARRIED !!

A place i never wanted to be...and today i am looking forward to the day when i am his and he is mine, in all ways possible! :)

It's a good feeling, good actually is an understatement, it's an amazing feeling...to be a part of someone's life, someone's world, someone's family, someone's very being and being such an important part that everything around seems to be changing in a beautiful manner...

Golden period people say is the courting period i.e. the time between the engagement and the wedding...but our golden period has only thousands of miles, whatsapp, phone calls and webcam sessions :( it's a terrible thing to be not able to see him till the time, the marriage actually happens. But all said and done, i have no regrets.. Coz i had an amazing time with him (in spirit so far and in person)... and i feel really really lucky that love came along my way in such a splendid manner...coz he has a heart of gold...and loves me jus the way i want *touchwood*

i look fwd to know him better, understand his pain and be a part of his life in a way that nothing / no one can separate us...Ironies rule life in every manner... i was headstrong against getting married and today i cannot wait to take that road with him and build a new world with him... :)

Now, i do not fear a thing and do not mind saying out loud: I LOVE YOU!!!!

hEaRtbReaKs

Another heartbreak !!!

Do i really have to courage to face it, once more, all over again?
I am asking this question to myself a lot often these days...coz i am really really scared of how things will turn out... the countdown has begun and there are just a few days left before things would be actually be decided... 

hEaRtbReaKs are freakin' mad !! aren't they? We all (whether or not we admit) have faced heartbreaks in life at least once...and we all know, they hurt so bad !!

I am looking fwd in life today with dreams that are really colorful and i am really hoping that my dreams come true (very obvious)... but if these dreams DO NOT come true, i shall be soon living a nightmare of my own make .....

And I do not know, if i have the strength to live it... !!!

How i wish feelings had a sort of a switch.. !! you can switch it on or off whenever you want to.. life would be so much easier... !! but again, i think, why do something like that? Life is just once... if you don't live every phase of yo life to the fullest / if you don't feel ever inch of yo emotions / if you don't closely look at every scar the bleeding wounds left / if you don't cherish every joy and every special moment's mesmerizing effect, what life have you lived !!!!

TRUE THAT !!!

The move you love, the more vulnerable you get yourself... to the pain, the agony, the frustration..but on the flip side, why forget that if you love more... you are more exposing yourself to those you love to love you back...care for you...and coz you make them feel special, do you not feel special yourself? ofcoz you do... its an elated feeling to love someone with all your heart...even tho you know not, what's in store for you... !!! :)

forgetting someone who gave you a lot to remember, is one of the toughest things to do and when such a time comes, that's when you say that you have had a heartbreak

Time and life is uncertain and unpredictable...no matter what i think...what i fear...what i wish or what i hope... life has its own decided course and things are going to exactly flow in that pre chalked out manner... but if ...heartbreak is what's in store for me... i wish and pray and hope that i am bestowed with abundant strength... to move on and forget the past....... AS SOON AS I CAN with lesser pain .. and agony...

MEANT TO BE

Somehow I am coming across a lot of things that depict a picture of autumn or autumn leaves. It’s strange! In the beginning I did not notice this. But after a while it became something I would keenly observe, being aware. Everywhere I go, I somehow tend to see the autumn or autumn trees that’s shedding its dried leaves… !

Recently I went to a hobby store to buy a few things I needed to make holiday greetings and there the first thing I saw was a clipboard full of autumn leaves and falling leaves… I went to buy a certain kitchen wear and there too I see coffee mugs n serving trays with autumn leaves… these are some I wanted to quote else there are so many such instances… ! It really got me thinking coz I am someone who has grown to believe that nothing in life, happens as a coincidence. It’s all part of the story written for you…part of an Ala Grand plan. It all has a meaning. Nothing happens without a reason. There is a purpose in every event, big or small. Everything that comes to you, it’s a sign. If you can catch it, life becomes a tad bit easier else you can still manage.

So, getting back to the autumn leaves! Well I am at that stage of life, where things in store are clear yet blurred. None of us ever know what future holds, true that. But when a certain event begins to shape up and everything else starts to fall in place to let that event begin in the way it is planned, your dreams / hopes / anticipations / predictions / desires start to froth on the surface and you begin to picture your tomorrow according. The beauty of this is that the future is still unknown but the hopes we carry makes us visualize a certain future and in our heads, we see the events happening. But of course, all of that won’t essentially happen the way we have pictured. But that doesn't stop us from doing so; even if it makes us oh! So vulnerable!!! :)

I have been doing this since last few weeks. My hopes about a certain event are brimming high. I have visualized a certain set of days so many times in my head that they almost seem real to me now. But all of this, doesn't mean, it shall all happen the way I have pictured it in my head! There are 50% chances (or so I think) of these things to go the way I have pictured it in my head and so 50% chances that they go in the complete opposite direction…!

I guess seeing the falling autumn leaves, I am to learn to know, that it is OKAY! If what I dream of is meant to be it will find its way. If it’s not meant to be, no matter what is done, by whatever means, it shall somehow end up being a mess and not happen. How much ever pain the trees or the leaves might have to suffer, when the leaves fall from the tree, the tree survives and the leaves accept their destiny and sways with the blowing wind to find its destiny, whatever that is. But that shall not stop me from hoping or dreaming, I dunno how it's ought to be, but that’s how it shall be with me!! :)

Looking forward to my tomorrow, where I have a few hopes and dreams waiting to turn to reality but in the deep dark nights, I am preparing myself for the worst outcome that could be and have the courage to accept and face the situation. Coz if that is what happened, that was meant to be !!! Maybe not now, but few years down the line, I shall look back and understand, why all that happened, whatever that happened, good or bad was momentary, in the end it’s all good!!! :)

If Only

IF ONLY...........

These two words, now mean a lifetime to me. I could have never imagined love would knock at my door in such a majestic way. They say when artists n poets are in love, its beauty all the way... May be i dint believe in that until today..! True that, since the day love has decided to stay on in my life, yes beauty has been lingering in everything around me. Love does that to you may be. No matter where you are or what you are doing, no matter how bad or dull the day is, no matter how sickening or annoying the situations are, you are happy from within, if you are in love! Strange as it gets, and as filmy or cheesy it may sound, it surely is the sheer truth...you may or may not believe it ...but that's the way it is...

Whoever said love happens just once? How can something so fulfilling and something so beautiful just happen once? Good things come to you in many shapes n sizes, all the time, you just need to make sure you have not shut yo self and you shall never miss it. Its a farce when people say you fall in love just once... Gravity does that to you, unless you have someone to catch you and keep you safe in their arms for the rest of the life, you keep falling in love, again and again and again ... And once you have that special someone in yo life, the magic of life n love makes you fall in love again and again and again, with the SAME person, all  your life... :)

L0ve.. is a crazy wonderful beautiful thing that makes you believe that dreams can come true, that reality can be better than fantasy, that hopes can bear fruits, that desires do have a means to get done, that magic is not just a word! Especially when you get the commendable feeling of "THIS IS IT" for someone and you start to plan yo every move, yo ever action keeping that person in the core, yo world gets a new direction and you get a whole new shiny reason to live and be happy.......be happier than ever before...!!!

Somehow i feel like i can go on n on n on about love and its great attributes today and the way i feel since a while...but i rest my words here and get back to feeling AwEsoMe .......